Monday, March 19, 2007
How much of a genius are you?
Let's start ignoring all my previous posts. Here's to the power of positive thinking!! And prayer, which is going to pull me out of my emotional rut.
No more ranting about family, or boyfriend being busy, or me sucking at school. It's all under control. I've learned that lesson several times before - I have no desire to learn it again, now that I remember what it took for me to realize it earlier.
Of course, I'll still be honest, as per the title of the blog, just maybe not to the whiny extent that I have been.
Something for you to do today - takes 20 minutes. It's an IQ test to find out how Canadians measure up. I was above average, exactly one point lower than my predicted IQ. Any guesses, anyone who knows me? R, you don't get to guess. Leave a comment with your prediction and if you get it, you get five stars (don't guess too high - my IQ got royally swamped by R's 126. At least maybe we'll have smart kids).
Has anyone seen this guy? Julian Beever? He does this amazing art. It's flat on the pavement, with chalk. Some of them aren't great, but several are amazing.
Not even the hose is real...
People are walking around this "hole."
The ones where it looks like there's a gaping hole in the pavement are the best. There are more here.
No more ranting about family, or boyfriend being busy, or me sucking at school. It's all under control. I've learned that lesson several times before - I have no desire to learn it again, now that I remember what it took for me to realize it earlier.
Of course, I'll still be honest, as per the title of the blog, just maybe not to the whiny extent that I have been.
Something for you to do today - takes 20 minutes. It's an IQ test to find out how Canadians measure up. I was above average, exactly one point lower than my predicted IQ. Any guesses, anyone who knows me? R, you don't get to guess. Leave a comment with your prediction and if you get it, you get five stars (don't guess too high - my IQ got royally swamped by R's 126. At least maybe we'll have smart kids).
Has anyone seen this guy? Julian Beever? He does this amazing art. It's flat on the pavement, with chalk. Some of them aren't great, but several are amazing.
The ones where it looks like there's a gaping hole in the pavement are the best. There are more here.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
It's sunny today
I love springtime. I'm already thinking about shorts and tanks that I'll be comfortable in soon.
Watching Lost tonight probably, with R! Yaaaaaay. We're nearly caught up to what they're playing now on tv... and then we're going to have to wait and watch it weekly. So we will be addicted, and Wednesday nights will be another opportunity for me to see and spend an hour with R. Because he may be too busy for me, but he won't be too busy for me and Lost together.
Today was productive. I went grocery shopping after my first class then came home and cleaned my place. There's a room inspection tomorrow... and I swear, none of my roommates ever bother to clean the bathrooms or the kitchen. They'll do their dishes, or try and appear like they've done some cleaning, but they really haven't. So I cleaned both bathrooms, including the grungy shower/tub, and the kitchen, and mopped all of the floors. So hopefully they'll appreciate it and keep it that way, at least until tomorrow. And maybe someone will take the hint and vacuum the living room.
Looks like I'm probably coming home again this weekend, which means I can't go with my invertebrate lab on the field trip to the aquarium. That's kind of sad; I love the aquarium, and it would be awesome to go through and hear about my favourite organisms from someone who knows a lot about them. But I guess you win some and lose some.
Comin up next month is our 2 year dating anniversary, R and I. That seems like quite a milestone. Last year we went out for a fancy dinner (with a coupon; but I even wore a dress), and then to the orpheum for a concert - a tribute to mozart. It was amazing. I wonder what we're going to do this year. I kind of feel like maybe I should plan something... but at the same time, I feel like I'd love for him to take me out, again. I feel like I've stepped up to the plate a lot this year, and most if not all of our "dates" are initiated by me and decently (at least half) funded by me. And we agreed at the beginning of this year that we'd be making more time for dates during the school year... but this semester he's been so busy. I almost feel like he owes me a real date, where he takes me out, because I am being such a supportive gf and allowing him to be so busy without me; at the same time, I know it's not really his fault. I'd just really like a date. He even has coupons for a free movie still - anything, as long as he takes me and I get to sit and worry about nothing. And feel like he likes to be with me.
Maybe this post is a test to see how often he checks up on me. Hear that, babe? ;)
Watching Lost tonight probably, with R! Yaaaaaay. We're nearly caught up to what they're playing now on tv... and then we're going to have to wait and watch it weekly. So we will be addicted, and Wednesday nights will be another opportunity for me to see and spend an hour with R. Because he may be too busy for me, but he won't be too busy for me and Lost together.
Today was productive. I went grocery shopping after my first class then came home and cleaned my place. There's a room inspection tomorrow... and I swear, none of my roommates ever bother to clean the bathrooms or the kitchen. They'll do their dishes, or try and appear like they've done some cleaning, but they really haven't. So I cleaned both bathrooms, including the grungy shower/tub, and the kitchen, and mopped all of the floors. So hopefully they'll appreciate it and keep it that way, at least until tomorrow. And maybe someone will take the hint and vacuum the living room.
Looks like I'm probably coming home again this weekend, which means I can't go with my invertebrate lab on the field trip to the aquarium. That's kind of sad; I love the aquarium, and it would be awesome to go through and hear about my favourite organisms from someone who knows a lot about them. But I guess you win some and lose some.
Comin up next month is our 2 year dating anniversary, R and I. That seems like quite a milestone. Last year we went out for a fancy dinner (with a coupon; but I even wore a dress), and then to the orpheum for a concert - a tribute to mozart. It was amazing. I wonder what we're going to do this year. I kind of feel like maybe I should plan something... but at the same time, I feel like I'd love for him to take me out, again. I feel like I've stepped up to the plate a lot this year, and most if not all of our "dates" are initiated by me and decently (at least half) funded by me. And we agreed at the beginning of this year that we'd be making more time for dates during the school year... but this semester he's been so busy. I almost feel like he owes me a real date, where he takes me out, because I am being such a supportive gf and allowing him to be so busy without me; at the same time, I know it's not really his fault. I'd just really like a date. He even has coupons for a free movie still - anything, as long as he takes me and I get to sit and worry about nothing. And feel like he likes to be with me.
Maybe this post is a test to see how often he checks up on me. Hear that, babe? ;)
Friday, March 09, 2007
Wasting time between classes
A duck cash scam
This guy knows how to relax
Good balance
Time to transfer schools
Maybe they should lower ticket prices
Awwwwwww - how determined
This guy knows how to relax
Good balance
Time to transfer schools
Maybe they should lower ticket prices
Awwwwwww - how determined
Boogers
So R and I have reached a new level in our relationship. He picked a booger out of his own nose and stuck it in my mouth. This was despite my sense that it was coming, and despite my very serious use of his full name. I guess when you really love each other... you just really want to share. Or the little boy in him can't resist asking for that wide-eyed, open-mouthed shock that so often appears on my face. If we're this retarded already, how am I supposed to defend myself ten years from now? It'll be toe jam, or bellybutton lint, or massive balls of collected dandruff. There's no telling what he may come up with.
I'm going home this weekend. Going to hang out with my sister, and visit my brother and his wife in their new house! Going to play at a worship service with some very old very good friends, like a band reunion. I am way excited about playing with them; we don't practice, we just get on stage and we breathe the same music. It's an amazing experience that I can never describe to someone who hasn't experienced it. I could worship as a group like that for hours; I'm really looking forward to being refreshed by God through it. I really have to get into something like that again, because my soul feels like it's diving into an ice-cold lake on a hot day. Going for months - even years, maybe - without that, when I know what I'm missing out on, is discouraging. So I am excited!
I'm going home this weekend. Going to hang out with my sister, and visit my brother and his wife in their new house! Going to play at a worship service with some very old very good friends, like a band reunion. I am way excited about playing with them; we don't practice, we just get on stage and we breathe the same music. It's an amazing experience that I can never describe to someone who hasn't experienced it. I could worship as a group like that for hours; I'm really looking forward to being refreshed by God through it. I really have to get into something like that again, because my soul feels like it's diving into an ice-cold lake on a hot day. Going for months - even years, maybe - without that, when I know what I'm missing out on, is discouraging. So I am excited!
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Shipwreck
I built a fortress, with a hundred thousand faces,
I'll keep it safe, with a hundred thousand more.
But these masks are wearing thin, as You draw me in.
I spent my time on the empty and the fleeting.
I spent my life on much less than what I'd dreamed.
But I'm reaching out to You, to make me new.
'Cause I am just a beggar, here at Your door.
I am just a shipwreck here on Your shore.
I come empty handed, ready to see,
Your life in me changing who I've been,
To who I need to be.
You tell my story as You sift between the pages.
I feel redemption in the space between each turn.
Could You take me in Your arms,
And tell it just once more?
Could You take me in Your arms,
And tell it just once more?
- Starfield, "Shipwreck"
I'll keep it safe, with a hundred thousand more.
But these masks are wearing thin, as You draw me in.
I spent my time on the empty and the fleeting.
I spent my life on much less than what I'd dreamed.
But I'm reaching out to You, to make me new.
'Cause I am just a beggar, here at Your door.
I am just a shipwreck here on Your shore.
I come empty handed, ready to see,
Your life in me changing who I've been,
To who I need to be.
You tell my story as You sift between the pages.
I feel redemption in the space between each turn.
Could You take me in Your arms,
And tell it just once more?
Could You take me in Your arms,
And tell it just once more?
- Starfield, "Shipwreck"
The girls in my Bible study (CORE group) are really good for me. And I've been surprised every time at how much God blesses me for going every week. No matter how tired I am, or how stubborn I may feel, he pulls something out that surprises me.
I've been feeling a lot of things lately. Top of the list is lonely and failing. When I get to the point when I feel like I've failed God too many times to come back, I simply don't bother. I pull myself into my shell - I love my safe little shell - and I try and wait it out. I feel more and more abandoned by God, and more and more angry that he hasn't shown up. I know with every neuron in my brain that it's my own self pulling back and refusing to let him soften my heart, but I still feel angry. I know that every day that I put off reading his word, and trying to talk to him, that I make things worse for myself. I know that it doesn't get easier after I've had my "break" from him, or done things my own way for a while. I know this. But it still takes so much energy to break open that shell and let him in again. Half the reason is that I don't feel like I have time to genuinely open myself; if I do I'll start crying and I'll feel like a failure yet again. Who has time to cry? Too much emotion there to bother with. I know that I'm refusing to trust in him by reacting this way, but trust is so hard. Still, after everything he's done. Crazy, I know.
So I go to Core. Don't plan to say anything. But our leader shakes things up, and asks people to say how they're really doing. She opens up and says that she's been feeling really tested by God, and worn out - mentally exhausted - from battling with him. A few other people say a few things. And then I spoke up about all of the above. I mentioned that like two days earlier I decided to kick myself at least half into gear, and read something out of the Bible. I wasn't planning on making myself pray, still feeling angry and not ready to give up my grip on my own heart. But I figured I'd at least start the process, if only a little bit. I went back to where I had left off in my regular reading, and read the parable of the ten virgins. The line that stood out to me was just before the story, Matt 24:44: "So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him."
This almost made me angrier. Why can't God just leave me in peace for a week or two? Here I was trying to hear from him, then I was angry when I did. "He can't expect me to be perfectly ready and at peace with him constantly. If he chooses to come when I am struggling with him, that's his own fault."
And then one of the girls said, "Wow, Trish, this is crazy. I was feeling really abandoned this week, and I read that same parable two days ago."
Talk about "coincidences."
She opened up about her own feeling of dryness, and how she feels like it stems from the fact that she fills her time and fulfills her needs with other things, so much so that she doesn't even realize how much she needs God anymore. She feels abandoned by him, but really it's because she's not pushing into him. And it's so true - the fact that we lose our need for God. I fill up my life with the things that are supposed to make me happy. I have money, food, a place to live, a school, a future career, a boyfriend for the self-esteem, friends for the fellowship - I "have everything." Yet it's when my life is empty of needs that it's really empty of God.
So I'm now more open to the idea of re-opening my heart. I feel a little more strongly how important it is to make sure I get back on track. Not because I'm afraid Jesus will come back and I won't be perfectly in harmony with him. That would be a stupid reason, and he knows it. He knows my heart; he knows I have an understanding with him - that I am his child and I will always return. But he doesn't want to "give me space." He wants me to come to his space. To his rest.
I've been feeling a lot of things lately. Top of the list is lonely and failing. When I get to the point when I feel like I've failed God too many times to come back, I simply don't bother. I pull myself into my shell - I love my safe little shell - and I try and wait it out. I feel more and more abandoned by God, and more and more angry that he hasn't shown up. I know with every neuron in my brain that it's my own self pulling back and refusing to let him soften my heart, but I still feel angry. I know that every day that I put off reading his word, and trying to talk to him, that I make things worse for myself. I know that it doesn't get easier after I've had my "break" from him, or done things my own way for a while. I know this. But it still takes so much energy to break open that shell and let him in again. Half the reason is that I don't feel like I have time to genuinely open myself; if I do I'll start crying and I'll feel like a failure yet again. Who has time to cry? Too much emotion there to bother with. I know that I'm refusing to trust in him by reacting this way, but trust is so hard. Still, after everything he's done. Crazy, I know.
So I go to Core. Don't plan to say anything. But our leader shakes things up, and asks people to say how they're really doing. She opens up and says that she's been feeling really tested by God, and worn out - mentally exhausted - from battling with him. A few other people say a few things. And then I spoke up about all of the above. I mentioned that like two days earlier I decided to kick myself at least half into gear, and read something out of the Bible. I wasn't planning on making myself pray, still feeling angry and not ready to give up my grip on my own heart. But I figured I'd at least start the process, if only a little bit. I went back to where I had left off in my regular reading, and read the parable of the ten virgins. The line that stood out to me was just before the story, Matt 24:44: "So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him."
This almost made me angrier. Why can't God just leave me in peace for a week or two? Here I was trying to hear from him, then I was angry when I did. "He can't expect me to be perfectly ready and at peace with him constantly. If he chooses to come when I am struggling with him, that's his own fault."
And then one of the girls said, "Wow, Trish, this is crazy. I was feeling really abandoned this week, and I read that same parable two days ago."
Talk about "coincidences."
She opened up about her own feeling of dryness, and how she feels like it stems from the fact that she fills her time and fulfills her needs with other things, so much so that she doesn't even realize how much she needs God anymore. She feels abandoned by him, but really it's because she's not pushing into him. And it's so true - the fact that we lose our need for God. I fill up my life with the things that are supposed to make me happy. I have money, food, a place to live, a school, a future career, a boyfriend for the self-esteem, friends for the fellowship - I "have everything." Yet it's when my life is empty of needs that it's really empty of God.
So I'm now more open to the idea of re-opening my heart. I feel a little more strongly how important it is to make sure I get back on track. Not because I'm afraid Jesus will come back and I won't be perfectly in harmony with him. That would be a stupid reason, and he knows it. He knows my heart; he knows I have an understanding with him - that I am his child and I will always return. But he doesn't want to "give me space." He wants me to come to his space. To his rest.
Calm
The rain falling last night was one of my favourite types. It was a warm night, I didn't need a jacket, and there was no wind. The rain was coming down calmly, big drops but not many of them. The only sound you hear is a gentle pitter-patter that muffles the traffic noises. The pavement sparkles and nothing feels in a hurry; the drops are lazily falling and they're not thrown every which way by the wind. I enjoyed it. I really felt calmed by the rain. Thank the Lord for that brief respite.
Friday, March 02, 2007
Book list
In the list of books below:
old the ones you’ve read,
italicize the ones you want to read (I'm not going to bother, because there will be many),
underline the ones you won’t touch with a ten-foot pole (I can't un-underline it from a previous person... I don't have anything underlined),
put a cross (+) in front of the ones on your book shelf,
and asterisk (*) in front of the ones you’ve never heard of (this will be embarrassing... I think I have no culture).
1. The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown) -- I started this one but it wasn't mine and I had to leave the vicinity of the book. I'm guessing it'll be better than the movie was (really laaame...) but kinda still like a hoax.
2. +Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen) - Really like this one.
3. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)
4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell) - Kind of surprised I've never read this.
5. +The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien)
6. +The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)
7. +The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien)
8. +Anne of Green Gables (L. M. Montgomery) - How many of these books, is the question? I'm sure I read like, the 10 "real ones" by LM Montgomery, and then some.
9. Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)
10. *A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
11. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling) - I just went through the whole list without bolding Harry Potter books, with my superior nose in the air... and then I remembered that I think I read 5 of them the summer I had mono. Don't remember them, but I must admit they got read.
12. Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)
13. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling)
14. *A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)
15. Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden)
16. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (Rowling)
17. Fall on Your Knees (Ann-Marie MacDonald)
18. *The Stand (Stephen King)
19. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban(Rowling)
20. +Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)
21. +The Hobbit (Tolkien)
22. The Catcher in the Rye (J. D. Salinger)
23. +Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)
24. *The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)
25. Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
26. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)
27. +Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)
28. +The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)
30. Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)
31. *Dune (Frank Herbert)
32. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks) - Can't believe I really read this. I may be actually mixing it up with other Nicholas Sparks books... are they supposed to be different? Gotta say I loved the movie, of course.
33. *Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)
34. +1984 (Orwell)
35. *The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
36. *The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)
37. *The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)
38. I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb)
39. *The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)
40. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)
41. *The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)
42. *The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)
43. Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)
44. +The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom) - Got this as a gift as an English award in high school. It was interesting, but not outstanding I don't think.
45. +Bible - Probably not completely all the way through.
46. Anna Karenina (Tolstoy) - Half of it.
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas) - Really good. Don't even bother watching the movie, especially afterwards.
48. *Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt)
49. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck)
50. *She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb)
51. *The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)
52. A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens)
53. *Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)
54. Great Expectations (Dickens)
55. +The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald) - Yay first year English class.
56. The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling) -Wow there is a lot of Harry Potter on here.
58. *The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
59. The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood)
60. The Time Traveller’s Wife (Audrew Niffenegger)
61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)
62. *The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)
63. War and Peace (Tolstoy)
64. Interview with the Vampire (Anne Rice)
65. *Fifth usiness (Robertson Davis)
66. *One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67. +The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (Ann Brashares) - I own this book in French... I've only read about a third of it. Didn't have time to soldier on.
68. +Catch-22 (Joseph Heller) - I bought this for Rich, at his request... and I've read it, and not him. I'd like to consider it part of my own collection, so I included a plus sign.
69. Les Miserables (Hugo)
70. The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery) - I read Le Petit Prince, not the English version.
71. Bridget Jones’ Diary (Fielding) -- this is the last book I read. Finished it last week.
72. *Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez)
73. Shogun (James Clavell)
74. *The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
75. The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
76. *The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)
77. *A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
78. *The World According To Garp (John Irving)
79. The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
80. Charlotte’s Web (E.B. White)
81. *Not Wanted On the Voyage (Timothy Findley)
82. Of Mice And Men (Steinbeck)
83. *Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier)
84. *Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
85. +Emma (Jane Austen)
86. Watership Down (Richard Adams)
87. +Brave New World (Aldous Huxley) - I really liked this one. Pushed the envelope nicely.
88. The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)
89. *Blindness (Jose Saramago)
90. *Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
91. *In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)
92. +Lord of the Flies (Golding)
93. *The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)
94. *The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)
95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
96. The Outsiders (S. E. Hinton)
97. White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
98. *A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
99. *The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
100. Ulysses (James Joyce)
Little bits
Aeolidiella cf. drusillaYeah, so I seriously just spent like an hour looking for this picture. Nudibranchs (sea slugs) are the absolute most beautiful animals in the world and I was inspired by a slideshow in class this morning to share this one with you. It's not the most colourful, but it is the one that looks most like the one I found at our friend's cabin on the sunshine coast. Obviously it's not the same species, since this one is native to New Zealand... but I looked through a gazillion lists. This morning my prof showed one in class that looked exactly like the one I found, and the habitat fit, but I didn't write down the name! All I could remember was that it started with an A. So I clicked on a billion links and this one LOOKS closest, so I'm sure none of you care that it's not exactly the one I found. That's ok. I'll post more pictures of more beautiful, tropical ones later.
So I am bummed out. My grades are sucking. I had so much to write but I feel like not bothering anymore.
The other day I went my first full day since the surgery without a nap - then went to bed at 10:00. But far from sleeping well, I tossed and turned all night. Woke up like 6 times with numb limbs. And I kept having these weird dreams... and in my half-awake state I convinced myself that I, the amazing writer of prose, could turn these weird dreams into something significant and philosophical. You know, like those "deep" stories we'd read in high school that were all symbolic. I half awoke, and analyzed the meanings of my dreams, planning to finally do something useful and write them down. Of course, as day really dawned, I realized they were all gibberish, and there was nothing to glean from any point in the dream. It was something about like, a change room attendant bringing my sister and I clothes to try on... and she was treating us nicely because she missed her own sister.... like I said. I can't believe I pulled a fast one on myself thinking I may have had something to say ... ! Even if I had the technical training.
Hahaha, none of that makes any sense.
I felt the worst probably yesterday that I did since the surgery. Drugs making me dizzy so I'm pretty much done them. My face got suddenly swollen and I got a sudden insecurity fix. I barely see R, and I'm lonely. I've only really not spent time with him for a week, but I got this sudden complex about my belly growing fatter over the week span. Amazing how a week of crappiness can change your secure feeling. I haven't really felt insecure about us as a couple for a long time... but combined with feeling like I'm gaining weight, and failing classes (my grades SUCK and I'm bummed because it's one of those times when I feel like I actually should be doing better... but I'm not. So I don't even know what I don't know), and being on drugs. And not seeing R.
So tonight we're goin with matt and katie out for sushi. All-you-can-eat. Which doesn't help my weight feeling :) But it SURE helps the "I miss sushi" feeling. Particularly I miss sunomono salad. And hopefully the "I miss R" feeling, because he is NOT allowed to touch his books for at least THREE HOURS STRAIGHT tonight. I seriously haven't seen him all week and it sucks. Sucks a lot. So I have to milk it over the weekend and save up for another week without him. I'm so lonely. I even miss my parents this week; don't get me wrong - my parents are great. But I really enjoy my space from them. Just this week I saw some tv with a dad on it that reminded me of my own dad... how he used to be. I miss how my dad used to be. We don't have the relationship we used to - I used to feel like a daddy's girl, but now he feels fake every time he talks to me.
Wow, I just got an e-mail from my mom. Interesting. Signing off; I'm going to try and get an assignment done and then I'm going to make TUNA BAGEL MELTS for lunch!! I'm SO EXCITED about solid foods and I LOVE food. Feels like it's the only thing that I really look forward to lately - either looking forward to class being over, or to the weekend starting, or to my next meal. I wish I liked school again.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Lots has happened
I got my wisdom teeth out on Friday morning. Everything went swimmingly, and I'm barely swollen. This is me today, 3 days after - probably with the largest cheeks that I got during the whole time. I suck at taking my own pictures.
I got sedated, which means I was awake but there was a nice amnesia component to the IV which caused me to forget everything. I didn't get the side effects of going fully under, but I don't remember any grinding or breaking. I kept the two smaller teeth, that got kept intact - and BOY! They are HUGE!! I may make them into a Tarzan Necklace.
I got sedated, which means I was awake but there was a nice amnesia component to the IV which caused me to forget everything. I didn't get the side effects of going fully under, but I don't remember any grinding or breaking. I kept the two smaller teeth, that got kept intact - and BOY! They are HUGE!! I may make them into a Tarzan Necklace.So after all the horror stories, I survived fine. My biggest problem is that I get SO HUNGRY!! Pudding, jello, porridge, soup, scrambled eggs even the day after, are NOT enough. I LOVE food, and it's so hard not to eat whatever I want. Today I'm gettin into the solid food a little, and into the stage where the crap gets stuck in the holes in the back of your mouth. Kinda gross. But worth it to eat real food again.
I'm back in classes, only took one T-3 today at 7:30 a.m. Painkillers are gettin weaned off pretty quickly. It was nice too cuz R bought me some "orajel" - the gum-numbing stuff for babies. It's been nice, especially cuz I ripped a couple stitches yesterday... already. Seems as though I can't quit laughing with my mouth wide open.
Been nice to see R a little more too - he spent most of the day with me Friday, picked up my perscriptions, and Saturday I was already over at his place playing cranium with everyone. We watched a bunch of lost - my brain wasn't foggy like I expected, but I still am taking the extra day extension on my lab exam because I gave myself two days without studying (even though I could've studied if I'd really been motivated).
So that's the big news.
Also, while in hometown this weekend I helped R make a trial version of a ring, in his shop. It's so comfy, and I like it - I like the wood grain, just wish it was darker. Or that I had a tan.
Mmmm, I also went to an "exercise" class with Dayna over the break... turns out it was an Abs, Butt, and Thighs class. Thought I was taking it easy but the next day I could hardly walk. Anything squatting (going down stairs, sitting on the toilet) was TORTURE. I don't remember ever being that sore. Kinda nice to get on the painkillers for the teeth so that I could walk again!
So much for my new gym kick.
I also went back to that sketchy scale, played around with a funny dial on the side. Took some surveys of other scales, and I think I weigh exactly what I thought I did originally. So much for that amazing moment where I thought I was more than 10 pounds lighter than I'd been thinking. Guess I can't read a scale.
Last week of school / midterms, before the break, I nearly DIED. I had a physical Chem midterm Tuesday morning... was one of those ones where you don't know how it went. One question I'm sure I got solidly, the other one I messed around with for a while and who knows how it may have gone.
Then Thursday night, at 7, AFTER organic lab where my solvents wouldn't cooperate, I had a biochem midterm for 2 hours. I think it went amazingly. I hope. But then I had a midterm the next morning at 8, in invertebrates... and it went horribly. Then I had a midterm at 1, in Diatonic Harmony. That one got nailed. I decided that if I got 100% on the music midterm, I'm switching majors. It'd be so nice to be the best at something again.
So that was a long stretch of midterms. I was tired.
Since Valentine's got canceled this year, because of these exams (and R's, on the 14th at night), on Saturday I pounced on R and made him have a makeshift V-day with me. He didn't know it was comin, but I made a card and rented a movie and bought him candy. Pretty romantic; we watched the movie with his little brother. But even being near him for a whole day was amazing - I can't complain. I'm sure everyone thinks I see him all the time, but I really don't. It's been a stretch.
So I've got a lab midterm this week, and a chem assignment due tomorrow night. I'm kinda hopin they're just gonna fall together.
I think the pain-fog is starting to kick into my brain. Shoulda brought some drugs; I'm so tired. Just wanna go home and sleep. One more class, then I can eat and sleep and then start studying. Or wasting more time with downloaded TV shows. I made the mistake of watching Lost with R, so now I'm not allowed to watch it without him!!! Now I have to wait for HIS schedule, so find something ELSE to waste my time.
We had some sweet birthday parties last weekend, for Dan (happy 20th!) and for Matt (happy 21st!). Dan's we went to Cafe Crepe, bought some mini-kegs and played MarioKart. Matt's we went out for Mexican food, he got to wear a kickin' sombrero and get "Happy birthday Max" sung to him. Then we went bowling, us 4 regulars. It's been nice to have Matt and Kate around for "double dates."
Also nice cuz they drove me to/from the surgery on Friday!! R bought them breakfast for their trouble, but they were so supportive in their sleepy faces. I tried not to think about the fact that they were downstairs having an amazing White Spot breakfast.
I'm really craving an ipod recently; getting mixed signals to just "Go for it, treat yourself," especially cuz I found out my parents ARE gonna pay for the part of the surgery that wasn't covered by the plan. But then I'm getting input to wait, save, (this is my own brain), and maybe buy an ibook (this is my desire, but R's idea... I don't really NEED a laptop but I'd sure LIKE one).
So sleepy. Can't think of anything else. There was more, but I'm tired. Hope everyone's Mondays are startin off fantastically. Wish me luck studying with no motivation. Or EATING!! I want a white spot burger, or McDonald's french fries, or sushi!! Sushi SO BADLY I want it.
If I get really motivated I may start writing up my organic lab; I got to separate, purify, and identify two compounds. I don't have the melting points yet, but other than the identification I could write everything up early for next week. Yet what are the chances I'm going to do anything early?
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Sepia
Yesterday in my invertebrate lab, I dissected a squid. We did the same dissection in high school, so it was familiar. The lab director brought tempura batter and a pan with oil, and everyone took the mantle of their squid, skinned it, and brought it to her to cook. So at the end of lab we got to eat them... mmmmm!!
But the point of this post is something fascinating I learned. Most people are aware that a squid or an octopus (and many of their relatives) have ink sacs, that they may shoot out to confuse predators. Back in the day, the ink of the cuttlefish was the first ink to be used regularly with the quill pens. This ink dried to a reddish-brown colour, and since the Greek word for cuttlefish is "Sepia," this gradually became associated with the colour of the dried ink. Isn't that fascinating?? So all of you photographers out there, every time you try to revive an old "sepia-toned" photograph, or you adjust your own picture to that "colour," remember the amazing cuttlefish and it's place in history.
Last week I dissected a snail regularly eaten as escargot... a French delicacy. I learned some interesting details about snails and their hermaphroditic/homosexual copulation... if anyone would like me to share these fascinating details, you can definitely ask in a comment. Otherwise, look it up. I don't want to shock anyone with the details without warning them first :)
Just kidding - it's only snails. People should be able to deal with it.
But the point of this post is something fascinating I learned. Most people are aware that a squid or an octopus (and many of their relatives) have ink sacs, that they may shoot out to confuse predators. Back in the day, the ink of the cuttlefish was the first ink to be used regularly with the quill pens. This ink dried to a reddish-brown colour, and since the Greek word for cuttlefish is "Sepia," this gradually became associated with the colour of the dried ink. Isn't that fascinating?? So all of you photographers out there, every time you try to revive an old "sepia-toned" photograph, or you adjust your own picture to that "colour," remember the amazing cuttlefish and it's place in history.
Last week I dissected a snail regularly eaten as escargot... a French delicacy. I learned some interesting details about snails and their hermaphroditic/homosexual copulation... if anyone would like me to share these fascinating details, you can definitely ask in a comment. Otherwise, look it up. I don't want to shock anyone with the details without warning them first :)
Just kidding - it's only snails. People should be able to deal with it.
Hanging in the balance
I woke up unreasonably and unbelievably grumpy this morning. So I figured I'd go work some negative energy out in the gym.
Surprised, I know. I am not a gym person. Generally I don't see myself as self-conscious, but aside from my sheer hatred of exercise in all non-fun forms, I also hate exercising and looking red-faced and sweaty in front of other people. I think it stems from my deep-rooted perfectionism; if I can't do something excellently, or at least better than some people, I don't want people to see it.
I am happy for people who like running, but to me - running is a form of torture that people inflict upon themselves. I've never been in shape enough to ever enjoy running - even when I have been in decent shape (rare, yes, but it has happened). Never gotten that "runner's high," and I don't understand that people continue to do it. For fun. I hate the idea of exercising for the sake of exercising. I wouldn't mind sports, if I were any good at them. So because of my limited abilities, I only really like individual "sports" - swimming, biking (outside so I'm not bored to death), gymnastics (maybe I'd like dancing if I knew how? Again, if I was good at it and looked somewhat graceful. Or it was a type of dancing where I don't need to look graceful... maybe I could belly dance? I definitely have hips and a belly). Wow tangent. Aside from that, not really anything.
So I went and biked on a stationary. I brought thermodynamics reading and my mp3 player to keep me occupied in case the tv was monopolized (I get bored easily without mental stimulation, and there has to be an overload of mental stimulation to keep me exercising when I don't have to). But lo and behold! I was the only person in the gym!! In immediate rapture, I ran around trying all the machines. I don't mind machines. When someone came in I quickly settled myself on a bike and worked it for half an hour. Got really sweaty, but I felt better about how much I've been eating. Now if I can do that a couple of times a week, maybe I'll start feeling more motivated or less crappy.
So although you've already been shocked beyond belief, by far my biggest shock was stepping on the scale. It was one of those "real" scales, like the balances we learned to use in grade 8... move the blocks over until the arm is suspended, balancing your weight.
I rarely weigh myself. Not only do I not have a scale at home, but I don't have one here at school. Occasionally (and I mean rarely... probably every 3 or 4 months) I sneak into R's parents' bathroom and check myself on their scale. So I checked myself at the end of Christmas holidays, just to make sure I hadn't gained 20 pounds... I hadn't... so I figured I was good.
But! This scale (and R swears it's the most reliable type, and that his at home is not accurate) weighed me in at seventeen pounds lighter than I thought I was, after Christmas. There's no way I lost 17 pounds; if anything I've gained. A significant amount. Unless I didn't really learn how to use a balance... check back soon, because I may take R with me to make sure I did it properly. In that case, there will be a very despondent post.
It doesn't make a huge difference - I still feel as heavy as I did before, all relative depending on the time of month, and my love handles are not shrinking - but now when another girlfriend drops her weight into the conversation, I don't have to think, "Wow, where am I hiding an extra 20 pounds over this girl?!?!" Unreal.
I reminded R that this also means that HE'S about 17 pounds lighter than he thought he was... and he decided to verbally maintain that he is the weight he measured at home. Since he didn't use this scale anyway, so technically he's ignorant. Also, this gives us a difference of over 30 pounds, which I am incredibly happy about. I don't care how big I am as long as I still feel smaller than he is... and he's not huge. I didn't exactly pick a guy that far exceeded the "heavier than me" expectation.
So both of us are happy. Greaaaat stuff!
Surprised, I know. I am not a gym person. Generally I don't see myself as self-conscious, but aside from my sheer hatred of exercise in all non-fun forms, I also hate exercising and looking red-faced and sweaty in front of other people. I think it stems from my deep-rooted perfectionism; if I can't do something excellently, or at least better than some people, I don't want people to see it.
I am happy for people who like running, but to me - running is a form of torture that people inflict upon themselves. I've never been in shape enough to ever enjoy running - even when I have been in decent shape (rare, yes, but it has happened). Never gotten that "runner's high," and I don't understand that people continue to do it. For fun. I hate the idea of exercising for the sake of exercising. I wouldn't mind sports, if I were any good at them. So because of my limited abilities, I only really like individual "sports" - swimming, biking (outside so I'm not bored to death), gymnastics (maybe I'd like dancing if I knew how? Again, if I was good at it and looked somewhat graceful. Or it was a type of dancing where I don't need to look graceful... maybe I could belly dance? I definitely have hips and a belly). Wow tangent. Aside from that, not really anything.
So I went and biked on a stationary. I brought thermodynamics reading and my mp3 player to keep me occupied in case the tv was monopolized (I get bored easily without mental stimulation, and there has to be an overload of mental stimulation to keep me exercising when I don't have to). But lo and behold! I was the only person in the gym!! In immediate rapture, I ran around trying all the machines. I don't mind machines. When someone came in I quickly settled myself on a bike and worked it for half an hour. Got really sweaty, but I felt better about how much I've been eating. Now if I can do that a couple of times a week, maybe I'll start feeling more motivated or less crappy.
So although you've already been shocked beyond belief, by far my biggest shock was stepping on the scale. It was one of those "real" scales, like the balances we learned to use in grade 8... move the blocks over until the arm is suspended, balancing your weight.
I rarely weigh myself. Not only do I not have a scale at home, but I don't have one here at school. Occasionally (and I mean rarely... probably every 3 or 4 months) I sneak into R's parents' bathroom and check myself on their scale. So I checked myself at the end of Christmas holidays, just to make sure I hadn't gained 20 pounds... I hadn't... so I figured I was good.
But! This scale (and R swears it's the most reliable type, and that his at home is not accurate) weighed me in at seventeen pounds lighter than I thought I was, after Christmas. There's no way I lost 17 pounds; if anything I've gained. A significant amount. Unless I didn't really learn how to use a balance... check back soon, because I may take R with me to make sure I did it properly. In that case, there will be a very despondent post.
It doesn't make a huge difference - I still feel as heavy as I did before, all relative depending on the time of month, and my love handles are not shrinking - but now when another girlfriend drops her weight into the conversation, I don't have to think, "Wow, where am I hiding an extra 20 pounds over this girl?!?!" Unreal.
I reminded R that this also means that HE'S about 17 pounds lighter than he thought he was... and he decided to verbally maintain that he is the weight he measured at home. Since he didn't use this scale anyway, so technically he's ignorant. Also, this gives us a difference of over 30 pounds, which I am incredibly happy about. I don't care how big I am as long as I still feel smaller than he is... and he's not huge. I didn't exactly pick a guy that far exceeded the "heavier than me" expectation.
So both of us are happy. Greaaaat stuff!
Monday, February 05, 2007
#6-9
Why I'm happy to be a woman:
- We got off the Titanic first.
- We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynaecological disorder excuses.
- Taxis stop for us.
- We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
- No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival the Speedo.
- We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.
- If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
- We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her rear end.
- We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
- We have the ability to dress ourselves.
- We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked
- If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot.
- We will never regret piercing our ears
- There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
- We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren't listening anyway.
Happy Birthday to Me
1. It's my birthday today
2. I'm 21 now. Feeling old, but I have to be careful what crowd I'm in when I say that... yes, I know my entire life is ahead of me. I am still so young, yes.
3. I was feeling a little down, but things have picked up. Here is the story:
However, we both forgot that he has a lumber grading course tonight... until 9:00. No problem, I thought... he could come over after and we could just watch a flick on my widescreen monitor. I'll get some homework done, that way, and maybe make a shopping trip on my own to exchange a shirt, before he gets there. It would even kind of be a relief, to not take a whole night out the week before midterms (I'm just starting to feel stressed).
I was shocked and surprised when R said he probably wouldn't be coming over at all!!!! See, his reasoning was that we could postpone it, since he was really looking forward to going out with me (haha, role reversal! Usually that's me), and do it another night this week. But I didn't really understand that he meant to do it another night, and I nearly died at the prospect of not even SEEING my boyfriend, that lives on the same street as me, on the day of my birthday!! And it's not like I really saw much of him during my party. I was flitting between people, trying to make sure everyone was comfortable and not awkward. You know that pressure - "Does everybody here know at least somebody else they can talk to??"
So before I got bummed out, I called a good friend of mine on campus, to see if she had plans. Maybe she'd do homework with me, or watch some chick flick, or just go get dinner with me.
But no answer from her sent me into the depths of despair and loneliness.
I recovered decently when she phoned, saying she had ringette practice but she'd love to go get all-you-can-eat sushi after, with me and her bf (at like 9:30). So I was excited. Yaaaay, I found someone who could deal with my desperation! And now her practice is canceled, so she's gonna come shopping with me. I think that means no late-night sushi, but we'll go grab some food for dinner somewhere.
So I'm less depressed, particularly because I learned the essential fact that R wants to do something another night... it just takes me a while to recover when I was hoping to see him on my actual birthday. Cuz I don't need a whole extra night out... it might be more of a stress than a help.
Adjustments, right?
End of story.
3. Ed got me flowers yesterday, as he promised he would a month ago for my birthday, since I kept supplying him with painkillers from my ever-equipped purse.
4. R and his mom bought me a pile of wonderful scrapbooking stuff* from Costco. Wow, can you ever get a lot of stuff there for miles cheaper than any other place. I have more paper and ribbon and punches than I could ever need.
5. My bro and sis-in-law got me a shirt that didn't fit super well... so I exchanged it yesterday and got two shirts (one nice one and an undershirt for it) and a loonie back. I'm very happy with the fit and the dark green colour. Also with the loonie back. Also, it's a clothing line where I am a small... talk about an esteem-booster!!
6. My sister got me a shirt as well, that I have to exchange today. There are some shirts that are just not made for large boobs. Though the colour was beautiful, and the cut is nice on a hypothetical woman.
7. I'm looking forward to my invertebrate lab tomorrow.
8. I'm almost finished my three seasons of House. What am I going to waste my time with next?
9. I think this post is long enough. Time to get busy; I have class in 20 minutes anyways. I'll take a picture tonight of my shirt, if I can. I'm that pleased with it. And so cheap.
*Changed from "cheap" by boyfriend's request
2. I'm 21 now. Feeling old, but I have to be careful what crowd I'm in when I say that... yes, I know my entire life is ahead of me. I am still so young, yes.
3. I was feeling a little down, but things have picked up. Here is the story:
- I had a great weekend; went home to Langley
- I had a cold, felt sick all day Thursday but though I felt better Friday, my throat was raspy
- Since I sang all Friday night at a worship leader's meeting...
- ...and then at practice for 2 hours on Saturday afternoon...
- ...and then screamed my lungs literally out while bowling Saturday night...
- ...I have no voice left. Though it's better today. Yesterday there was nuthin'. And so, while leading worship, I had to restrict myself to only playing the keyboard and not singing. At all. It's so hard for me not to sing, but it was at the point of pain. Which implied damage to my pipes. Something I don't want to happen.
- My parents hosted a food party at my house Saturday, a drop-in essentially for everybody. Some people were greatly missed, either couldn't make it or had to drop out last minute, but I got to hang out with some great old friends that I never see, some great friends' parents, and my sister, brother, and sister-in-law.
- Then Sunday, since I was at church essentially from 7 until 12:30, I was exhausted. Wiped out completely; slept through half the superbowl (got made fun of by R's family, of course). My dad even came to R's house to watch it on the big screen.
- Ate lots of food.
- Got more cake and more gifts, even though nobody was supposed to get me anything...
- So what could be disappointing, you say??
However, we both forgot that he has a lumber grading course tonight... until 9:00. No problem, I thought... he could come over after and we could just watch a flick on my widescreen monitor. I'll get some homework done, that way, and maybe make a shopping trip on my own to exchange a shirt, before he gets there. It would even kind of be a relief, to not take a whole night out the week before midterms (I'm just starting to feel stressed).
I was shocked and surprised when R said he probably wouldn't be coming over at all!!!! See, his reasoning was that we could postpone it, since he was really looking forward to going out with me (haha, role reversal! Usually that's me), and do it another night this week. But I didn't really understand that he meant to do it another night, and I nearly died at the prospect of not even SEEING my boyfriend, that lives on the same street as me, on the day of my birthday!! And it's not like I really saw much of him during my party. I was flitting between people, trying to make sure everyone was comfortable and not awkward. You know that pressure - "Does everybody here know at least somebody else they can talk to??"
So before I got bummed out, I called a good friend of mine on campus, to see if she had plans. Maybe she'd do homework with me, or watch some chick flick, or just go get dinner with me.
But no answer from her sent me into the depths of despair and loneliness.
I recovered decently when she phoned, saying she had ringette practice but she'd love to go get all-you-can-eat sushi after, with me and her bf (at like 9:30). So I was excited. Yaaaay, I found someone who could deal with my desperation! And now her practice is canceled, so she's gonna come shopping with me. I think that means no late-night sushi, but we'll go grab some food for dinner somewhere.
So I'm less depressed, particularly because I learned the essential fact that R wants to do something another night... it just takes me a while to recover when I was hoping to see him on my actual birthday. Cuz I don't need a whole extra night out... it might be more of a stress than a help.
Adjustments, right?
End of story.
3. Ed got me flowers yesterday, as he promised he would a month ago for my birthday, since I kept supplying him with painkillers from my ever-equipped purse.
4. R and his mom bought me a pile of wonderful scrapbooking stuff* from Costco. Wow, can you ever get a lot of stuff there for miles cheaper than any other place. I have more paper and ribbon and punches than I could ever need.
5. My bro and sis-in-law got me a shirt that didn't fit super well... so I exchanged it yesterday and got two shirts (one nice one and an undershirt for it) and a loonie back. I'm very happy with the fit and the dark green colour. Also with the loonie back. Also, it's a clothing line where I am a small... talk about an esteem-booster!!
6. My sister got me a shirt as well, that I have to exchange today. There are some shirts that are just not made for large boobs. Though the colour was beautiful, and the cut is nice on a hypothetical woman.
7. I'm looking forward to my invertebrate lab tomorrow.
8. I'm almost finished my three seasons of House. What am I going to waste my time with next?
9. I think this post is long enough. Time to get busy; I have class in 20 minutes anyways. I'll take a picture tonight of my shirt, if I can. I'm that pleased with it. And so cheap.
*Changed from "cheap" by boyfriend's request
Monday, January 29, 2007
Put it to rest
Don't you hate when someone brings something up that you thought was long over with? I think an issue has been finally buried, and dealt with a million times, and somehow there's another layer of depth in this other person's brain. Hello! Don't fabricate something that isn't there!! The issue is finished, over, and there is nothing more that needs to be done. It has been finalized too many times to count.
Yarr.
Also, it's almost my birthday! I'm going to be legal in the states... wonderful, since I visit the states so often.
My old band is playing a reunion show this week, but I can't be there. Sucky; it's on a thursday night, but I have an organic lab until 5 that evening. Labs are not skippable - and even if they were, there's not really any way for me to get back up here for Friday morning. So I'm missing out on the music-making. And feeling left out. Also I just really miss playing that music.
I'm also feeling bored; I don't have enough to do. R has 7 classes (smart thinkin, buddy), with 5 labs integrated in there. He has homework constantly, poor dude. I'm trying to make as positive an environment as possible for him to work... but that usually discludes me. And I only have 4.5 classes, so I am not swimming in stress as I usually am. I've been watching House... but that's going to run out, eventually. I'm just looking forward to the time a few weeks from now when I'm stressing about midterms and actually motivated to do studying other than the few menial assignments. Assignments motivate me to work, "Study this for next month" does not motivate me at all. When midterms are approaching, I'll have the motivation to sit for hours and do practice problems and study concepts and memorize equation derivations.
This is the first semester I've had in a while that I've actually had any math to do, at all. Last semester I had no math whatsoever - organic chemistry, cell biology, and natural disasters didn't have any quantitative problems. It's nice for a change to have physical chem and biochem with actual numbers, where answers are right or wrong. I missed that! It's been weird to need a calculator again. I had to buy a specific one from the bookstore (wow, UBC gets your money through everything). Unit conversions, and anal assignment-writing, where I get all my numbers all nice and even.... yesssss. I am a geek.
Gonna get moving to biochem soon. I had a nice chill Monday morning... class at 8 only for an hour. Got home, showered, had a quiet time, cleaned up the unit a bit. Lunch. Diatonic Harmony class (YES! Music!) at 1, an hour break until my next class (Intro to Biochem) at 3. I have so many nice spaces, it's unreal. And now that I live so close, I can go home and sleep again, if I want, or get my assignments done for the later classes. I always have at least 4 hours of break between my first and 2nd classes. Unreal.
Peace out.
Yarr.
Also, it's almost my birthday! I'm going to be legal in the states... wonderful, since I visit the states so often.
My old band is playing a reunion show this week, but I can't be there. Sucky; it's on a thursday night, but I have an organic lab until 5 that evening. Labs are not skippable - and even if they were, there's not really any way for me to get back up here for Friday morning. So I'm missing out on the music-making. And feeling left out. Also I just really miss playing that music.
I'm also feeling bored; I don't have enough to do. R has 7 classes (smart thinkin, buddy), with 5 labs integrated in there. He has homework constantly, poor dude. I'm trying to make as positive an environment as possible for him to work... but that usually discludes me. And I only have 4.5 classes, so I am not swimming in stress as I usually am. I've been watching House... but that's going to run out, eventually. I'm just looking forward to the time a few weeks from now when I'm stressing about midterms and actually motivated to do studying other than the few menial assignments. Assignments motivate me to work, "Study this for next month" does not motivate me at all. When midterms are approaching, I'll have the motivation to sit for hours and do practice problems and study concepts and memorize equation derivations.
This is the first semester I've had in a while that I've actually had any math to do, at all. Last semester I had no math whatsoever - organic chemistry, cell biology, and natural disasters didn't have any quantitative problems. It's nice for a change to have physical chem and biochem with actual numbers, where answers are right or wrong. I missed that! It's been weird to need a calculator again. I had to buy a specific one from the bookstore (wow, UBC gets your money through everything). Unit conversions, and anal assignment-writing, where I get all my numbers all nice and even.... yesssss. I am a geek.
Gonna get moving to biochem soon. I had a nice chill Monday morning... class at 8 only for an hour. Got home, showered, had a quiet time, cleaned up the unit a bit. Lunch. Diatonic Harmony class (YES! Music!) at 1, an hour break until my next class (Intro to Biochem) at 3. I have so many nice spaces, it's unreal. And now that I live so close, I can go home and sleep again, if I want, or get my assignments done for the later classes. I always have at least 4 hours of break between my first and 2nd classes. Unreal.
Peace out.
Monday, January 22, 2007
Rainy days at UBC
1) Make sure you use an umbrella. Or at least ridiculously-coloured gum boots.
2) Enjoy the feeling of the massive wet patch on each of your thighs (due to the up and forward motions of walking).
3) Do step in every puddle. Make sure your jeans are wet right up to your knees.
4) If you're wearing runners, make sure they have some decent-sized holes in them. Preferably on both sides, close to the sole so the water doesn't have to be deep.
5) Do walk very very very slowly, in double file, with large umbrellas, so that people in a hurry can't get past you.
6) Don't bother lifting your umbrellas, ever, so that they always clash with the space for other people's umbrellas.
7) Since UBC is also known as The Umbrella Graveyard*, do drop your broken and otherwise useless umbrella wherever you may fancy. By all means, do NOT wait to find a garbage can or any other waste receptacle.
8) Do take a sweet picture of the view from your window. Do make sure there's a car while you're taking it so that your amazing camera (or rather, your boyfriend's camera) gets all the light that passes through, headlights to taillights, with the car entirely past the intersection and not in the picture.
*Term used with permission.
2) Enjoy the feeling of the massive wet patch on each of your thighs (due to the up and forward motions of walking).
3) Do step in every puddle. Make sure your jeans are wet right up to your knees.
4) If you're wearing runners, make sure they have some decent-sized holes in them. Preferably on both sides, close to the sole so the water doesn't have to be deep.
5) Do walk very very very slowly, in double file, with large umbrellas, so that people in a hurry can't get past you.
6) Don't bother lifting your umbrellas, ever, so that they always clash with the space for other people's umbrellas.
7) Since UBC is also known as The Umbrella Graveyard*, do drop your broken and otherwise useless umbrella wherever you may fancy. By all means, do NOT wait to find a garbage can or any other waste receptacle.
8) Do take a sweet picture of the view from your window. Do make sure there's a car while you're taking it so that your amazing camera (or rather, your boyfriend's camera) gets all the light that passes through, headlights to taillights, with the car entirely past the intersection and not in the picture.
*Term used with permission.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
sushi!
Going to an all-you-can-eat place tonight.. I think it's going to be a weekly tradition. It's SO good.
I had something I wanted to say just shortly, but I completely forget what it was. Maybe I'll remember by tomorrow. Peace.
I had something I wanted to say just shortly, but I completely forget what it was. Maybe I'll remember by tomorrow. Peace.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
List time!
1) I love lists
2) I'm watching House right now
3) My house kind of smells like pot, due to the forest beside my window
4) Yet I have to keep the window open because my roommates keep the house really warm
5) I went to an info session tonight about research opportunities for undergrads
6) I've barely seen R all day... just made him a tuna sandwich for lunch, but he had to leave early
7) I have the best boyfriend ever. We had the best talk yesterday and I am so much happier about many things
8) I really really really really miss music
9) I also would like to find time to scrapbook again, but that would entail finding a place to develop my pictures. Too much effort and not enough money lying around
10) I need groceries
11) I had an invertebrate lab today and I got to play with sea anemones! The BEST ever. I tried to feed some but they had already been fed by a billion students, so they were full
12) I want to take a trip to the sunshine coast, with R, since it's winter. Diversity is amazing right now, and he would love to go creature-searching with me
13) I remember 2 recent "Friday the 13th"s
14) I'm tired. Yay for 8 a.m. classes every day. I feel like a first year still... 2 years later
15) My mom has been sending me e-mails, and it's been a really nice surprise. Makes me feel loved by the ones I left at home
16) I wish I had a nice camera. A digital SLR. Would be amazing.
17) On to better things... my pillow!
2) I'm watching House right now
3) My house kind of smells like pot, due to the forest beside my window
4) Yet I have to keep the window open because my roommates keep the house really warm
5) I went to an info session tonight about research opportunities for undergrads
6) I've barely seen R all day... just made him a tuna sandwich for lunch, but he had to leave early
7) I have the best boyfriend ever. We had the best talk yesterday and I am so much happier about many things
8) I really really really really miss music
9) I also would like to find time to scrapbook again, but that would entail finding a place to develop my pictures. Too much effort and not enough money lying around
10) I need groceries
11) I had an invertebrate lab today and I got to play with sea anemones! The BEST ever. I tried to feed some but they had already been fed by a billion students, so they were full
12) I want to take a trip to the sunshine coast, with R, since it's winter. Diversity is amazing right now, and he would love to go creature-searching with me
13) I remember 2 recent "Friday the 13th"s
14) I'm tired. Yay for 8 a.m. classes every day. I feel like a first year still... 2 years later
15) My mom has been sending me e-mails, and it's been a really nice surprise. Makes me feel loved by the ones I left at home
16) I wish I had a nice camera. A digital SLR. Would be amazing.
17) On to better things... my pillow!
Monday, January 15, 2007
From the new place
It has been really really cold. I watched this one pigeon for like 10 minutes and he didn't pop his head out of his warm cocoon the entire time. We're really used to putting on gloves/toques/scarves, and there's ice everywhere. Even the snow isn't melting.
I've used R's camera a bit, since mine's gone. My family got a beautiful point-and-shoot for Christmas. It was really cheap - a really good deal for 6 mp.
I'm watching House right now. I like this show. I like it a lot. And, I can watch it while I type because of my beautiful new monitor. R got it for me for Christmas, and it's widescreen. I am very spoiled.
And two days ago R bought himself a laptop. His Dell was at the end of its lifetime, and this toshiba is wonderful. It boots up in less than 45 minutes - a luxury. It's also widescreen. He was thinking about getting a mac (or, I was thinking he should get one) , but a PC is going to be better for him and his needs. So he's really happy.
So I'm on campus! I got a place with three girls in a condo-style housing unit. I'm really happy. It's warm here, and my internet works perfectly - both through the wall and wirelessly. This proves that it was not my PC sucking at my last place, it was definitely because they bought a cheap router. Cheap Asians (if I may be so racist). It's also cheaper to live here.
And it's amazing how much time I save not traveling. I've only had to take the bus a couple times, for shopping. I have a class at 8 a.m. every day, but after that hour or hour and a half, I have at least a 4-hour break. It's amazingly efficient to come home, do some cleaning, and get crap done. That just doesn't happen when I'm stuck at school, with a limited number of books, and a limited number of places to go.
I passed organic chemistry! That in itself is a triumph. Best C+ of my life. Only C+ ever, but also the best. I'm taking the lab for it this semester, but it should be much easier.
There are so many beautiful baby pictures around on all your blogs, people - they are beautiful but they kick my ovaries into overdrive. Do me a favour and keep the pictures down until I grow up and it's somewhat reasonable to have a kid. Maybe I'll live in my own baby-less world and try and forget they exist until I know it's not a ridiculous idea. Course I might as well go blind. :o)
Been feeling a little on the failing side about some things. I feel like I've been a Christian for so long, and there are some things I should have figured out by now and be somewhat consistent on. Like, when I feel like a failure over little things, I should have a solid enough foundation in knowing my identity and status in him, that I should be able to pick up where I left off. Persistence. Since when did I lose my stubborn will? I'm so frustrated that I give up so easily and let such little things keep me from coming back right away. It's 'cause I keep feeling so unworthy to return when I failed on something so controllable. But as R reminds me, when I start "feeling worthy," I cross the line into self-righteousness. And I know that. Which is why my knowledge should kick in - of course I'm not worthy, but that's the beauty of it. Why can't I embrace that beauty?
Working on it. I think he's telling me (actually, reminding me, since it doesn't get through my thick head) that it's not my job to struggle. I take it upon myself and just struggle away, but I need to leave it up to him.
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